The Berries, The Funk, and Above The Neck

So I spent the night over this chick's house and she asked me did I want to take a shower and I was leery of it because I don't like strange people's showers. If they have a guest room, I might take a shower at someone's house. If I'm out of town....of course I would have to take the shower. Any who she was making me feel like I was musky and she eventually forced me to take a shower. She brought me a set of towels. I took the towels into the bathroom I noticed that I had three wash cloths. *CRICKETS*

I took a closer look at the wash cloths and I noticed they were monogramed. One had a B, the other had an F, and the last one had an A. So I walked outside and I asked this lady.......what in the hell do these letter stand for?

She said the B were for the Berries.

The F was for the Funk.

and the A for for Above the Neck.

well damn....

Cleavage......explain this to me ladies.

As I pick myself up from laughter.......

Anywho I was checking out a friends pic on Facebook and she went to a formal or semi formal event and had on a nice dress. Some other women there had on nice dresses as well. I noticed many of them had cleavage out. So I was wondering, why do women wear outfits that show cleavage. You know men are gonna look at your breasts all day/night long and want to perform mammograms on you or either motorboat. So what is actually the point?

I know some do it for attention. But most women I have asked really don't even think about their cleavage being out. I know for women with big breast, they are in a lose-lose situation every time they go out. But I'm talking about the cutting board to the little bit above average women. Why would you wear something that takes the attention off your face? If you got an ugly face, then you get an excuse. Let's honestly discuss this.

Women in DMV part 1.

OK....so I have officially been in the DC Metro area for a little over 2 months. Bad traffic....no really good restaurants......no Super Wal-Marts, no good places to go in general. Unless they are hidden, there isn't that much things that are enjoyable but payday Friday. LOL.

Nevertheless.......I have encountered quite a few women, most were intelligent, just lacked common sense. It's really annoying. Not gonna rant and rave about lots of them, but I will point out two in particular.

The first one is a lawyer who asked me to run a 5K race with her. When I saw the text I couldn't even respond because I never had been asked something so asinine in my life. Who asks people to run races? Like seriously. I'm not walking 5K let alone run it. If she wants to race me......she needs to find the first Nintendo and get a power pad.....then we can race....on hands and knees.

The second one is a high level govt employee. (Thank goodness not at my agency) Now.......she thinks because we went to the same college, we have a connection. Well that's the only part of the connection. I didn't know her while I was in school. As a matter of fact she graduated before I got there, so technically she is too old to be talking too. I'm not looking for a wolf. LMAO.

So I text her asking what's up and she like let's meet up at a haunted house. A haunted house? Seriously? WTF I look like Scooby Doo? I'm not interested in no haunted houses. If someone jumps out on me....I'm gonna jab them in the head. I am too grown to be paying to be scared by adults who clearly have no future.

Anyway stay tuned.....I'm looking for more entertainment.

The little boy.....the balloon......and this BS.

OK.....so if you weren't hiding under a rock today......

Some little kid in Colorado was assumed to be floating away in a man made flying saucer.

The family was previously featured on "Wife Swap"


A Massive search occurred. The flying saucer was found miles away. Boy wasn't in it. Boy found hours later in the house. LOL.

In all seriousness, who in the hell loses their child in a flying saucer? If you are building sh** at your house that can possibly carry your children away via the air, LOL, then clearly you don't need kids. Who doesn't search their house when a kid is missing? Who wouldn't tear their house apart room by room, box by box, closet by closet? This should be common sense people. They wasted so many man hours on this little bastard who is lacking parenting. Then I'm watching them interview the family and I swear the little boy said "We did it for the show." I don't even want to discuss this BS anymore.

Something is wrong America. Too many people want quick celebrity. I bet they get a show.

I blame John and Kate fake star asses.

I'm done...

Oh my!!! Who cares if she curses at officials?

Look who goes to baseball games. If you don't know who they are, you live a sheltered life.

Are you serious? Please do better.

OK....see this is another reason why I decided to leave Atlanta. A lot of people in Atl believe that they are celebrities and they are not. They think because they go to social events around the city, that they have actual "star" power. They think because they buy "nice" (cheap) outfits and take pictures by the "fake" paparazzi out at these events that they are really contributing to society. When in reality these people are mostly underachievers with low self esteem who are in dead end jobs and are headed towards a difficult future.

Nevertheless I was on Facebook today stirring up my typical ish. I make a comment on a pic jokingly. Then the joke goes west and I have to flex my "Internet" muscle on someone who keeps deleting the comments because honestly they are on the slow train to loserville. Nevertheless a third party is commenting as well and they leave an interesting comment that made me ponder. I will take an excerpt from the comment and try to analyze it because I honestly hope this person is not that clueless.

that's fine put us on blast then we will get more followers and publicity is good publicity and once us pr ppl flip this we will have our own reality show all off ur 2k emails u sent!

So after I deciphered that I gathered that in some people's mind they think it's cool to have a goal to be a reality star. Are you really serious? Is our society that messed up to where everyone thinks quick fame can put them on easy street? Grant it for 1 out of 100 celebrities this is true. The other 99 are pretty miserable. These are the ones you see on gossip sites or in newspaper articles in total disarray.

But whatever, who am I to judge what someone aims to be? All I'm saying is set realistic goals. Success doesn't come easy. If you aren't willing to put in hard work, then you will continue to stay on that treadmill called "the struggle." The struggle is a good place to be for a while, but eventually you have to evolve into your own. Take heed of these noble words and I didn't even go hard.

So apparently women like to google men

Today on Facebook a friend got played by a dude. Seems like she was really disturbed because she found some stuff on the Internet about him. I know this for a fact, YOU DO NOT go digging up dirt to not find buried treasure. So if you are not prepared to find it.....DON'T GO LOOKING!!!

Ironically a comment was left saying this...

Girl the same thing happened to me except that fool was actually married! I found his myspace with pics of his wife and kids. He had just been on there 30 min before me and didn't change his married status either. The crazy thing was that I told him I was gonna google him and he told me everything I would find except that 1 major detail! Then he lied when I gave him a chance to tell me! I had to burst his bubble real quick! FYI fellas, sistas are ALWAYS a step ahead in the game whether u know it or not.

so if you were a step ahead of the game? Why are you dating married men? should have checked that after the first date. One would assume. Things that make you go hmmmm.

Are women really one step of the game? NO, neither are men. If you like someone, you like someone and always hope for the best. Sometimes it doesn't work out. That's life. Get over it. Life goes on.

My Snuggie

Sausage sample. YUCK!!!

So I stop at Giant Food today which is one of worst grocery stores known to man. Anyway I'm walking around to get a few things and I walk by the meat section and this lil Jamaican ratchet is cooking. Well I guess she was Jamaican, anyway she ask me "Do I want a sample?" I saw the sausage in the package and I was thinking to myself it's no possible way she can eff this up in an electric skillet. So I tasted it because she was looking at me. Oh my............



Intentional grounding..........Turnover on downs.....

This was the worst tasting food I ever had in my life. Disgusting. I couldn't spit it out because there was no trash can near me. I contemplated spitting it in the frozen food section in a freezer. I also contemplated spitting it on some produce. So now I'm pissed walking in the store. So I got me some shrimp from the seafood section and I see a good price on frozen shrimp as well, grabbed that and headed to the register. Oh yeah, the meat hasn't went anywhere. The lady rings up my things and I noticed that it came up a little low. I look at the screen and see what she missed. This woman doesn't even look at the screen to see she is ringing up items. COMMON SENSE says.........if someone has a 2 lb bag of shrimp....their total should be more than $10. Oh well......their loss my gain.

Full as a tick right now. Fin.